1. I have 3 nipples
2. I am batman
3. When I was a kid I really liked the smell of poo.
4. I see you
5. I kissed a girl, now shes a lesbian.
6. Cum out of the nose.
7. I still cry at lion king
8. My first time was in a field.
9. Go find another lover.
10. I want to leave this country and never come back.
11. I used to want to be a vet, then I realised I cant stand the sight of blood.
12. I feel more at HOME in Uni then where I used to live with my family
13. When I say I have no money… its because I sent it on underwear.
14. When I was young I hated my sister, now were best friends
15. I really don’t want to grow old
16. Id love to live in the woods one day
17. I hate food
18. Sometimes money controls me
19. My dad is Hulk Hogan
20. As a child I used to breath through my mouth because I thought I thought I’d suffercate if I breathed through my nose
21. I’VE ALWAYS WANTED THIS KISS FROM SPIDERMAN
22. I don’t want children ever
23. I ate a jelly baby that had been on a field for over 6 months… it didn’t taste nice.
24. Skittles bring out the OCD in me
25. I STOLE A KEEP OUT SIGN WHEN I WAS 10, I NEVER GOT CAUGHT.
26. I know someone who pooed in a tent.
27. I can’t make my ankles touch because they shouldn’t touch.
28. As guy lesbians don’t turn me on, they make me uncomfortable.
29. I eat too much crap
30. I think there is something very sexy about Asian men
31. I’m still afraid of umperlumpers.
32. I hate people who send back one work texts!!!!!
33. I make pictures with the hair on the shower wall.
34. Some babies are really ugly.
35. I want to be a police officer in America because they get guns. Now I’m going into the police in England.
36. I once pissed in the fruit and veg section of a 24hr Asda......I was drunk, honest.
37. I didn’t know my dad until I was 37.
38. I’m in uni because I didn’t know what else to do.
39. I used to think ear wax could be candles
40. £20 blow
41. I used to think aliens would land on earth just like ET.
42. I’ve swam with sharks.
43. My birthday is on valentines day.
44. I used to play with Barbie, when I was a young boy.
45. Was I was young I used to run around the house singing “some day my prince will come”
46. 1984, dodington rock festival. 6.30. bess big dog, dog bit him on the face. 12. Wild dog in the woods. Tetness. Arm or bum. Drop your pants. Me lyn. Through the hedge.
47. I feel free at the beach
48. I want to be a secret agent.
49. i wish i'd payed more attention in science class. but don't tell my teacher that.
50. I wish I was a boy so I could pee standing up.
51. I am one of those people who will get a degree, then bum around the world traveling. I’ll worry about a proper job later.
52. I’m scared that someone will attack me when walk home.
53. When I was in primary school I used to have ice skating birthday parties, to be cool. But I can’t Ice Skate to save my life.
54. I don’t have any I want to tell.
55. When my friend was young, he ran out of toilet paper, so he wiped his bum on the wall. It was covered up with a poster. Ten years later when they moved house, the stain was still there!
56. I’m going to do something with my life.
57. Soppy Couples make me sick.
58. Staceys mum
59. Marry me
60. For my 6th birthday I got a mr blobby cake, I cried for days because we cut him, I ate him. Now he scares me.
61. I document my life incase someone one day will want to know how I’m .feeling right now.
62. I’m naturally blonde
63. My friend had sex in the basement at work, wile they where ment to be pulling pints.
64. I miss being a child.
65. I just don’t care. (fuck you) drawing. when I see your face I want to scream FUCK You
66. A time in reception when i made a awesome snowball and wanted keep it but it was the end of break so i put it in my tray. For the rest of the week I swear someone stole it. I didn’t realising it would melt
67. When I was younger I thought when a plane set off, you had to run on the runway, like on the flintstones. Draw
68. My secret… despite everything I wouldn’t change a thing.
69. I believe death is beautiful – butterflies moths
70. Somedays I want to be a artist. Paint all day. And be happy.
71. Sometimes I wish life was like LOST
72. And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.
73. I still have your Mixed tap
74. If I had all the money in the world I would try and make everyone feel truly happy. Happy money drawing
75. When people get angrey with me at work, I smile at them, they don’t know what to do.
76. I stay in a job I hate because I don’t know what I am good at. I will find out one day.
77. I was at a festival wearing my friends jacket. I was very drunk. I was going to be sick, just I didn’t want anyone to notice… that would be embarrassing, so I was sick into my sleeve. I gave the jacket back later. He never found out.
78. I could rob a bank
79. I wish life was a magical as Disney land.
80. I have webbed feet
81. I wish I was around in the 60’s woodstock
82. I want to be famous. . . for doing nothing at all.
83. I was a thief between the ages of 6-9 and I never told anyone. Among other things.. It was me who stole the beloved pig from the farmyard set in Year One. The first time I stole anything, and I thought that god was the moon and that the moon hated me. It was me who stole the teddy bear from the old ladies house which her granddaughter had knitted for her. It was me who stole Hannah Moore's polly pocket. It was me who stole Werthers Original from Byrkerly Park Garden Centre. It was me who stole the expensive glass star from a shop in Cornwall so I could stick it on my mums christmas card. It was me who stole the brightly coloured tin from my dads friends house, because I thought he was a very mean man who smoked too much, and didnt take good enough care of his cats. It was me who stole the plastic animals from Early Learning everytime I went in there. And yes it was me who planted them on my brother.
84. When my parents broke up, everyone was a mess.
85. Camping holidys
86. I wonder what my last words will be?
87. I slept with barack obama
88. Because they wont eat themselves
89. Climbing Trees getting stitches
90. Jewellery
91. We were out noseying around the local towns and stuff and there was a joke shop so we went in there for a bit and she ended up buying a fake poo to pull a trick on her son Joey, he was only 7 at the time later on that night she put it in his bed and when it came to putting him to bed she pulled the covers back and saw it, and she told Joey off for doing that in his bed and he burst out crying saying he didn’t do it, its so mean but its funny
92. this one time a scottish guy came to our school and we were all very wary of him becuase he was scottish, so a naughty boy done a poo under the table and like the entire class said they saw the scottish guy do the poo so he got in some deep troubles so then he left the school… Andrew.
93. i remember my brother eating frozen turkey dinosaurs out of the freezer, and asking me if i wanted some
94. one time i was skiving a lesson at school and thought it would be wise to steal a lot of stuff from tesco. it wasnt wise i got caught etc mum really pissed off fuck knows i was just down the aisles filling my blazer pockets and the matey just stopped me on my way out
95. my dad told me that the swimming pool heaters had broken so we had to get all our warm clothes to wear and we had to get hot water bottles and tie them round our tummies so we would stay warm in the swimming pool!!!! we only found out when we got there and no one else was wearing loads of things that he was actually joking!
96. smoke bomb. yeh they found out i got put in isolation andmoved to another form for a few weeks. good times.
97. well on my 18th we shaved sam gents head. we chose OAP style cos i asked my dad for his shaver at like 2am when gent passed out he just laughed as he went to bed an gave it me. we convinced him that he did it him self
98. i used to go to a bording school in germany (army school obvs) and one of my friends went home for a wekk for his mates bday, so a group pf us, mostly my 2 lad mates, scattered cress seeds all over his room and watered it for 3 days. when he came back there was really cress growing out of the carpet just all around his bed!! not near theres haha
99. Oz
100. haha well if Ni hasnt told u already which she may not have as she doesnt like to remember it. But she wont mind me telling u as u are a roberts. it was at audacous and a poor carefree wasp desided to land on Ni's shoulder. well it wouldn't leave!! and Ni was flapping as u can imagine and me sween and mand were all trying to get it off but we didnt want to get too close so from a distance we threw leaves at her and sween came in with a plastic bag wafting it around her lol haha i actually just laughed remembering
101.fell in a lake once and my dad fell in after me
102.I emptied all the fish food into the fish tank. They died. My sister got blamed for it. I denyed the whole thing, she still doesn’t know to this day.
103. i threw up off the most southernest pionts of the usa thre was a sign in key west, south island of florida.y
104.I used to go on bike rides… I had this… because I carried everyones lunch. I was 6.
105.me and my friends went to watch the omen on the 6th 6 6 our friend looks like Damien. We called him Damien
106.I want to go back…
107. the boys (dan and jo) or me would sometimes put clingfilm across the toilet so you cant see it and when the unlucky innocent goes to do a wee theres a splash back effect?
108. my brother once put cocoa buuter on the ladder up to our tree house and i fell - it scarred me for life
110. bucket on the door too when you open it the bucket falls lol
111. the first people i met in year 7 I made friends with them,they said they were in year 9 n that lot. so that was quite funny because i believed them at the time
112. well i had a friend from college called Mike who was uptight about everything, especially when it came to revising and uni things. He used to check his ucas track every 5 minutes, so i decided to take advantage of this by setting up a fake email account called ucas.track.ac.uk instead of .co.uk. I sent him an email saying one of his aplications had changed, but of course when he checked ucas tracj it hadnt. He got really adgitated and i convinced him to ring UCAS he rang this woman who looked into the problem. When i was with him i nipped to the 'toilet' but really went to the other computer room and sent him another email saying there appears to be a problem with your application to the university of Warwick and it may have not registered (its the one he wanted to go to and is at now) he then rang UCAS back and starts screaming at this woman for messing up his aplication. After he calmed down she got him to forward him the email, (i was sat next to him) i heard her say, this email doesnt appear to be from UCAS, i started laughing, he turned and faced me, then the penny finally dropped and i legged it!
113. Wet a pillow and whack it in a freezer
114. I had sex with a prostitue
115. I’m so out of my depth
116. I have 3 penises I cant stop drawing dicks
117. I’m in Love with eddie
118. I hate men.
119. I wish life is like being drunk all the time.
120. Mum and anuti jan. going out with mum. Lyns coach. Where is our paul
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